Going slow is good but sometimes just stopping and standing still, like you’re rooted to the ground is even better. In parenting, sometimes it is our first reaction to say something profound, give a direction, lay down a consequence, come up with a new rule or say a loud and emphatic “no!” Or, things are going well and we think we have to move on to the next thing before someone (it might be us) gets bored and into mischief. During those times, it may be best to just stop, be still and quiet. Hard? Absolutely. Necessary? Absolutely. Even our own silence is golden.

One of the most stressful circumstances for me as a parent is when I really need to be somewhere (at work, for example) and neither child is cooperating with my sweet, love-filled requests (to put it mildly). I can feel my blood pressure rising, my shoulders tensing, my voice increasing in volume and my requests start turning into angry demands. Shockingly, my children don’t suddenly stop the dilly-dallying and put their shoes on and start walking to the car. Often, they become angry, stressed and start yelling too. We all end up in Nowheresville.

About a year ago, I introduced my children to the “British Lady at the shoe shop.” She speaks with an English accent and fumbles around trying to find the best fitting shoe for each child. Think of Amelia Bedelia meets Supernanny. Because I use it sparingly, it tends to work beautifully. Other times, I have introduced a mime, an alien and the Swedish Chef from the Muppets. None of these have special powers (or do they?) but they do change the situation quickly and dramatically. Often when we sense our parenting is spiraling downward and the stress is accumulating, we just need to break that momentum. Whether we create a new character to guide kids through a required task, let them be the parent or we just whisper the requests, it shifts children’s actions (or inaction as the case may be) into doing what we need them to do.

For your viewing pleasure:

Baby book, blog or napkins. No matter your choice to record all the memories of your children’s lives (and your parenting successes!), there is an inherent desire in all of us to capture and document the memories. It is so easy for this earnest and heartfelt routine to get stressful. From the choice making of manner of documentation (book or blog) to the learning of the technology (more so with blog than book) to the staying up late just to get it all documented, this practice can get a little stress-filled. But, it is so valuable and enjoyable in small doses.

One way of implementing this practice that can weave it in to life a little easier is to pair documenting of ordinary moments with something else that is “ordinary.” For example, jot down those memories (in whatever form) on the day you take the recycling to the curb, on the day you get a certain magazine in the mail or each day right before backing out of the child care setting where your child is. The main idea is to pair the act of journaling with another act that happens regularly and predictably. Often a few notes of what has happened during the last day, week or month is enough to trigger other memories when you re-read the entries. But, this method can reduce the stress of “having to get it done.” Try it!